New space...

This is to inform u all that i've formally shifted my blogging space to http://essentialrarities.wordpress.com . all posts hereforth will be available on my new blog. thanks.

This way up...

what have i been upto? a lot in a sense, although nothing in another sense too. realizing this is my first post this vacation, doesn't actually feel like i've not been writing all this time. maybe i was too "occupied" (or watever that is, that u call "doing nothing"). reached on 2nd june. left again on 7th for a 15 day tour to leh, srinagar etc. about that, although most of the people that i went for the tour with (some of dad's frnds and their families) didn't have the best of their times in Leh, i totally had a blast. that was majorly due to the high altitude of the place, which results in considerable drop in the amount of oxygen available in the atmosphere, which in turn results into severe headaches, and breathing problems, at times, too. nevertheless, the place was breathtaking, with its non-conventional charms as a cold semi-arid region. apart from Leh, other places that v visited were sonmarg, srinagar, gulmarg, pahalgam, amritsar etc. for those lazy bums of u who dont have nething better to do neways, check out my picasa album at http://picasaweb.google.com/saahil.in/LehKashmirAmritsar .
came back from that tour on 23rd of this month. been lazing around my time here and thinking about stuff. seems so unlikely, that i had not thought of these things before, though i cud've, looking at how spontaniously they came to my mind now. unlikely, but true. for one thing, it seems so straightforward to me now what some people have been trying to convey this whole time. but y is it that i cudn't gauge that then? more so that i know it now, it ceases to displease me ne more.
out of the blue, i think calvin and hobbes is the greatest comic strip ever. not only a comic strip, no other author (other than wayne dyer and maybe, ayn rand) has been able to project the trueness of a human mind and the simplicity with which it ought to work, better than Bill Waterson(Author and illustrator of Calvin and Hobbes). i am in complete awe of the philosophies that calvin and hobbes has been projecting for so long. for example, his attitude towards history lessons is precisely what i always thought of them, only to be short of words to explain what it felt like. his unusual snowman creatures as a form of "art" is also something that has a lot of thought put into it.
i guess thats about it for now. hoping to come out of this temporary blackout of my mind soon. until then....its me and the endless servings of tomato-cucumber sandwitches.

Once upon a time....

the boy feels sick. actually, to put it precisely, he feels like an asshole at the moment. actually, to put it precisely, he's been feeling like an asshole for quite some days now. he has always been known as the kind who never gave a damn about what others used to say behind his back or what others thought about him. maybe that was because till that time there wasn't really anyone to show the kid how indifferent can he really be. even now, it isn't as if he cares, but this time its different. the kid is being ignored by people, or so he thinks. he used to be a fine child. used to have a lot of friends too. friends, whom he called, not to really talk about stuff thats really bothering him, for till that time he never really found it a necessity to talk to someone. he thinks it was so, maybe because he was too shy to speak out what really is going inside him. so he'd rather not talk about it at all, than talk and make a complete idiot of himself. contradiction to the previous statement here, when i mentioned that the chap never really cared bout what people think. so much for the i-dont-give-a-shit attitude. now, he is stuck. he's practically in a mess. he is even considering what if people have started taking him for granted. people, whom he thought he could share his thoughts and feelings with(contradiction again). those people no longer seem to care. he now wonders whether he made the right choice. he feels apologetic for those who really mattered. those, for whom he mattered. who always wanted him to SPEAK, not blabber. speak his mind out. although he is quite sure that they are still there for him, they'll still be holding on to him, no matter what, but as of now he feels too small to even face them, leave alone speak to them. he knows that they wud have listened, they would have adviced, they would have stuck on, held on to him, for he was the most important thing in the world to them. he didn't quite think this statement meant nething, other than just a figure of speech, but now things are different. very different. he longs for them. but also, he knows exactly what they would have wanted him to do at this point, and he plans to make sure he does the same. the old kid will be back, improved. not because he DOESN'T CARE, but because he DOES, for himself. for those people. love u ppl, miss u.

Conversation with God

when did this happen? well my friend, time is not the thing in question here. what matters is that it did happen, or did it....?

Me(still not fully awake): dude, is it really u?

God(clearly not amused, but still with the inevitable serenity): son, u dont call God that.

M: ok watever. but what in the hell are u doing here? and wat time is it? i've got murthy's lecture at 8.

G: u got it wrong again my child. hell is where i've sent the likes of u to burn and rot. they cut me off and so did i.

M: likes of me? dude, u're clearly mistaken. its room 205 here, ankur lives in 226. he is the one u r looking for. and most probably he is going to bunk the morning class so he'll be able to entertain u better. now did u, by any chance, hide my specs somewhere?

G: son, u dont seem to be taking this in good sense. believe me u, i am the most powerful, omnipresent, and i see all that happens down here.

M: u gotta be kidding me. so u mean u also saw that......oh, haha, i see where u're getting me to. pretty neat eh?

G: neat, yeah definitely. i suppose u've studied the second law of thermodynamics, which says the entropy always increases? on a galactic level that means the disorder is ever increasing. i can overpower ne force, whatsoever. everything is in my power, rest ur faith upon me.

M: really? nething? tht sounds cool to me. so, for one thing, mark my attendence in all the lectures today, if u may please. the monday lunch in the mess sucks. u might want to overpower the cook anna too. then, there's this girl. i presume u definitely know whom am i talking about. so....?

G: kid, believe in me, and all that is good for u will come unto u. i am the father of all, and who is the father who doesn't want to c his children smiling? i am here to take away all ur pain, if u be good. but, if u dont, u'll be sent to the place of eternal fire.

M: place of eternal fire, huh? so much for the FATHERLY figure. are u saying that the people who are suffering are the ones who were not good? if no, then the only other reason that they are in that state is that, u still have to go and see to them? in that case, if it took you 19 years to reach me, and u've already wasted 10 minutes here, i dont see when will those millions get their due. take my suggestion, give us all ur groupmail id, to which we'll write to u what we want. in the meantime, hop onto a bus from tc and go to those people. now if u may please, i've to answer the call of nature.

G: screw u, can u show me the way to room 226?

Does God play dice?

Einstein said famously "God doesn't play dice", intending it to be a direct hit on quantum mechanics and Heisenberg's uncertainity principle. This statement "God doesn't play dice" seems so obvious at first look that we almost take it for given. but lets see it this way. what if god is really playing dice with us. assuming that god really exists, in whatever form one may want/believe him to be, ours might be the planet, or universe, for that matter, that is just his game board. he rolls his dice and assigns the numbers 1 to 6 on it to the presence of an electron within the range of "uncertainity", as the lesser mortals know it. still doesn't sound plausible? does to me. looking at the fact that god is "OMNIPOTENT", it does seem like a small chance that he would actually spend his time nudging into matters as insignificant as my maths sessional tests or diego maradona's "hand of god" goal. god would have definitely something better and something more productive to do. i am in complete love with quantum theory, as well as the uncertainity principle. life wud have been dumb and mechanical had we known EVERYTHING to the highest possible precision, and that is the place where quantum theory really comes in, and probability plays its game.
GAME ON GOD!!!!!.........

Stranger than Fiction

I just finished seeing arguably the most amazing movie that i've possibly seen in the near past. its called Stranger Than Fiction. the movie is about a man and his WRIST WATCH that he has been keeping for a time long enough that he himself doesn't know. the hero follows dead strict routine and even counts the number of toothbrush strokes that he makes and has to make every morning(72 times, 36 time sideways and 36 times up and down). it just so happens that he begins to hear a female voice in his head that seems to narrate his whole life, rather than telling him what to do, which is the case with most of the psychiatric patients. he feels that he is a character in his own story that is being narrated by the voice. on the recommendation of a literature professor, he decides to change his lifestyle and do things that he has always wanted to do just to check if that makes things better for him now that he has heard from the voice that he is going to die very soon. he even succeeds in getting the only woman that he "WANTS". the series of events continue and it comes as a gradual realization to the viewer that the hero is, after all, a character in his own story, and the voice that he thinks is narrating the story is of the author of the story herself. once that author understands that what she is about to publish is a real story of a real living being altogether, she decides to make some changes in the story, that although not very well makes sense with the rest of the story, but is nevertheless worth a change. "as harold took a bite of the bavarian sugar cookie, he finally felt that everything is gonna be OK. sometimes when we lose ourselves in fear and despair in routine and constancy, in hopelessness and tragedy, we can thank god for bavarian sugar cookies and fortunately, when there are no cookies we can still find re-assurance of a familiar hand on our cheeks, or kind and loving gesture, of subtle encouragement, or a loving embrace, or an offer of comfort."
a must watch.....

From head bang to mood swings

Dont know how to react to the sudden changes in my playlist over the few days. its been around 4 years now that i've been listening to rock. but it wasn't till about an year back that i transformed into a total black/death metal fanatic. used to just listen to the likes of godsmack, slayer, pantera, korn, megadeth etc. for the past few days though, i've completely gone into classic rock and psychadelic(except for the times, of course, when i m in ankur's room). i've seen my playlist giving way to floyd(my long time favorite), the doors, clapton, radiohead, the who, simon n garfunkel etc. cant get enough of them. no complains.
now playing : human touch, Bruce Springsteen