Once upon a time....

the boy feels sick. actually, to put it precisely, he feels like an asshole at the moment. actually, to put it precisely, he's been feeling like an asshole for quite some days now. he has always been known as the kind who never gave a damn about what others used to say behind his back or what others thought about him. maybe that was because till that time there wasn't really anyone to show the kid how indifferent can he really be. even now, it isn't as if he cares, but this time its different. the kid is being ignored by people, or so he thinks. he used to be a fine child. used to have a lot of friends too. friends, whom he called, not to really talk about stuff thats really bothering him, for till that time he never really found it a necessity to talk to someone. he thinks it was so, maybe because he was too shy to speak out what really is going inside him. so he'd rather not talk about it at all, than talk and make a complete idiot of himself. contradiction to the previous statement here, when i mentioned that the chap never really cared bout what people think. so much for the i-dont-give-a-shit attitude. now, he is stuck. he's practically in a mess. he is even considering what if people have started taking him for granted. people, whom he thought he could share his thoughts and feelings with(contradiction again). those people no longer seem to care. he now wonders whether he made the right choice. he feels apologetic for those who really mattered. those, for whom he mattered. who always wanted him to SPEAK, not blabber. speak his mind out. although he is quite sure that they are still there for him, they'll still be holding on to him, no matter what, but as of now he feels too small to even face them, leave alone speak to them. he knows that they wud have listened, they would have adviced, they would have stuck on, held on to him, for he was the most important thing in the world to them. he didn't quite think this statement meant nething, other than just a figure of speech, but now things are different. very different. he longs for them. but also, he knows exactly what they would have wanted him to do at this point, and he plans to make sure he does the same. the old kid will be back, improved. not because he DOESN'T CARE, but because he DOES, for himself. for those people. love u ppl, miss u.